Out of My Mind is an intimate portrait of twenty-three year old John Cadigan, the filmmaker's brother who became seriously mentally ill while he was an art student at college. Soon after his first psychotic break John asked his sister, the filmmaker and his primary caretaker, to document his story. Filmed over three years, the siblings narrate the story of John's painful deterioration despite various therapies.

Rarely has the family experience of the early stages of schizophrenia been articulated so clearly. John's acute self awareness and his intense art work make him the ideal subject. He describes what is is like to be labeled psychotic, to become catatonic and to feel like part of your mind is working against you. Day to day John struggles with a steady stream of paranoid and violent thoughts.

John continues to battle his illness which has now been diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder. Obtaining an accurate diagnosis, medical benefits and housing were part of the arduous process of searching for help. Despite multiple hospitalizations he tries to lead as normal a life as possible, relying on the love and support of his family.

"It is one of the best and most useful films I have seen on this subject. " - E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., Author of "Surviving Schizophrenia"
"A remarkable film shedding light on this dark corner of human experience." - Dan E. Weisburd, Editor The Journal, California Alliance for the Mentally Ill

Women in the Director's Chair, 1995
Citation, Black Maria Film Festival, 1995
Best Documentary/Best Film, Heart of America, 1995
American Psychological Association, 1995
Mill Valley Festival, 1995
Film Arts Festival, 1995